Here are 10 reasons you should be improving your people skills and how to go about it.

One of the most important skills to grow your business and thrive successfully in any workplace is definitely people skills.

And NO. This doesn’t only apply to work that involves face to face communication.

How do I know this? For starters, I have personally turned down potential service providers because I was not satisfied with their communication.

I have also had awful experiences via email communication with a few companies.
Interestingly, I noticed that most of the issues I had with the companies bordered around two things:

  1. They did not understand my needs or requirements (and didn’t bother to find a better way to communicate)
  2. They were quick to interrupt because they were more concerned about getting my business than seeking how they can provide a personalised quality service.

So, what does the term ‘people skills’ actually imply? I found and paraphrased a good definition of people skills below.

People skills are patterns of behavioural interactions that enhance your ability to communicate with people in a friendly way, when in professional environments, or in your private life.

People skills also involve a number of other skills. How you listen for verbal and nonverbal cues matter. How you communicate in writing or when speaking is vital. Oh,…..and my favourite is this:

Your focus should be on how you can offer a helpful solution and not just what you can gain, as I wrote about here.

Once people know you care first, you have more or less won their business by at least 50%! I love this way this quote by John Green, highlights the point of making people your focus first.

‘People were created to be loved. Things were made to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used’.

One of the most inspiring stories I came across that drives the point of having people skills home is the success story of Brigette Hyacinth. Her story is quite remarkable. I share her brief quote about her experience below:

‘I quit my job and was down to my last $1000.
I took low paying contracts to get by.
I didn’t care because I was investing in my dreams. I didn’t listen to the naysayers who said “you need to give up.” “You are wasting your time.”
I kept perfecting my craft.
Then, I finally got noticed by someone influential and landed my biggest and most stable contract.
I didn’t meet this person at a business meeting. It was at a supermarket checkout line! I struck up a conversation with his mother and the rest is history.
Sometimes your biggest breakthrough comes from the person or place you least expect it.’

Now, imagine if your workplace or business employs people with this perspective.
People who understand that treating others with care, respect and genuine concern irrespective of where you meet them, can potentially also open the door to a new client.
Such organisations would no doubt thrive successfully!

One of Zig Ziglar’s powerful quotes takes this perspective a bit further. He said,

‘You don’t build a business; you build people and people build the business’.

In other words, when you inspire people, they have the potential to build or promote your business. That said, you cannot inspire people without understanding how to relate with them. This is another instance where having good people skills would be very useful.

group of people watching on laptop
Photo by Fox on

So, to effectively influence others, you need to have and continuously improve your people skills and we would focus on helpful ways to do this later.
First, let us look at 10 reasons you should be improving your people skills.

1. Great communication skills.

As you engage more with people, you become much better at being articulate, which is a prized quality in today’s workplace. You are also in a better position to communicate with different groups of people to get your message across with ease.

2. Better quality of relationships.

Those with good people skills are often referred to as ‘people persons’. They have understood the basic concept of having friends, which is to first show yourself as being friendly. People tend to warm up to warm people. You will have healthier relationships because you have learnt to use the art of communication to understand and relate positively with people you do life with.

3. Increased quality of life/happiness.

Having people skills would most likely guarantee a healthy social life because people would naturally enjoy hanging out with you. But even more, having a healthy social life has been associated with longevity, happiness and quality of life.
Developmental psychologist Susan Pinker in her TED Talk, revealed through the findings of her study, how in-person social interactions are not only necessary for human happiness, but could also be one of the keys to a long and healthy good life.

4. Improved patience.

As you learn to relate better with others, your people skills improve. You also learn to be more patient with others and less easily offended. You become an asset because you have mastered how to keep your cool when everyone else is losing theirs in stressful situations.

5. More trustworthy.

People can easily sense if you really care about them or just want to use them. With good people skills, you don’t have to fake your communication with others and they would easily be able to sense you are genuinely interested and trust you.

6. Effective listening skills.

Those with good people skills know that hearing and active listening are two different things. They have learnt to show genuine care by listening to understand first, before seeking to be understood. The outcome here is that such people end up getting better results from their communication and get further satisfaction from seeing the positive reaction of their listeners.

7. Good judgement of people.

As you improve in your people skills, you are more likely to be a better judge of character. This is highly beneficial as you will be more equipped to wisely select associates and friends. Being a good judge of character would also enable you to make sound decisions, reactions and responses when dealing with people.

8. A better awareness and understanding of body language.

Our bodies have a way of speaking a thousand more words than we are actually saying with our mouths. The more skilled you get at engaging with people, the more you will be able to pick up familiar body language with ease and of course, respond appropriately.

9. Improved leadership skills.

You cannot effectively lead people you don’t know how to engage with. Having great people skills will definitively enhance your leadership style and potential. It will help you gain the trust of your followers and motivate them to produce some of their best results.

10. Good negotiation and persuasive skills.

Having good people skills will surely come in handy when it’s time to negotiate job contracts, trade deals or when dealing with customers. You will be more equipped to persuade others when pitching a sale or making a convincing argument about your viewpoints.

adult beard beverage blur
Photo by on

To improve your people skills, the three areas you should focus on are empathy, active listening and effective communication.

Work on your active listening skills.

Try to think about the last meaningful conversation you had with another person where you felt heard and got the response you needed from them.
That feeling is something worth cherishing because the common culture these days is to abruptly cut people off when they are trying to make a point.
Such rude behaviour occurs when instead of actually listening, you are just passively hearing words.

Even worse, you are busy mentally formulating your response and when it is ready, you throw it in without so much as a thought to how the other person feels. This behaviour would only lead to unhealthy communication and poor results.
While you might have pertinent information that needs to be passed across, the truth is that people do not tend to care how much or what you know, until they know how much you care.

They tend to recognise the heart of those who really care and respond well to them.
If you truly want to effectively communicate with others, learn to listen actively.
You can do this by fixing your eyes on the speaker, thinking about what they are saying and not how to respond, then keeping quiet and still, while listening.
Another good practice is to acknowledge their points and concerns first after they are done speaking, before giving your response.

Develop and use empathy often.

The ability to show empathy in an honest way will improve your people skills. Empathy is the ability to understand how another person feels by being able to see things from their perspective.
A vital part of showing empathy which is often missed, is that you don’t need to have the same viewpoints of the other person. You just have to be able to acknowledge and validate their concerns to show understanding.

A good quote by Maya Angelou to remember is that ‘people might forget your words, but they will always remember how you made them feel.’

To use empathy effectively when communicating with people, try to practise active listening, examine your attitude when speaking and listening, and learn to ask more about their experiences and opinions.
You will begin to notice trust, honesty and better cooperation from your listener.

Learn to convey information in a useful way.

The main point of speaking is to communicate information. If you cannot achieve this, then you have wasted your speaking time. A useful tool for communicating I learnt is the mnemonic THINK.
T- is it True?
H — is it Helpful?
I — is it Inspiring?
N — is it Necessary?
K — is it Kind?

This guide will help you meet your audience where they are and engage with them.
Also, try to take breaks when talking to others to ensure they are still with you and to check they understand the information you are giving.

Take home points

Your people skills will improve as you learn to relate and engage with people in a genuine and caring way.

The people you inspire could potentially open the door for a massive business breakthrough or promotion at your workplace.

Having great people skills will help you improve your communication skills, grow as a person, be a great leader and be a powerful negotiator, among other benefits.
You can grow your people skills by using empathy more, practising active listening and learning to give others information in a way they can understand and respond to you.

Before you leave….

Do you feel like you are always out of time daily and want to make a change? Take the TIME CHALLENGE….Use this FREE 10-point checklist to unmake time from things that don’t add value to you and create more time for things you love!

Thank you for reading this post! If you have been inspired, please leave a comment and share on social media too!

What you have is not as important as what you do with it.

The solution you need will come when you learn to use what you have.

Think about the last few times you experienced a challenge. What was your first reaction?

If you are being honest, you would probably realise that you first tend to look outward.

Your thoughts might go along the lines of ‘how can this person or that person help me out of this?’ or even worse, find someone or others to blame for your troubles. I call it the blame culture, and it is eating through society today.

This mindset would only cause you to keep going round and round the same mountain without ever going forward.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Why? You are a unique person. DNA discovery has already shown us that.

So what does this mean for you and I?

You have something or better still, you can do something in a way that no one else can. But, the power to use it lies with you alone.

You have to first believe in yourself to be able to take on your world.


This level of self awareness can be a gamechanger if used for the right purpose.
Quit always looking outward for something or someone else to solve your problems. Quit the blame culture.

Develop yourself by choosing to learn something new often. Exercise your uniqueness by taking on and solving the ‘small problems’ you encounter daily by using what you know and have. Eventually, you will be able to boldly approach the big issues with the same gusto!

You can use what you already have on your inside to do whatever you set your mind to do.


For instance, you can learn about good financial stewardship and devise a personal plan to come out of that bad debt. You can even take on an online course if you have to!

You can read books on how to win friends, develop people skills and network. Add your personal touch and use the knowledge to grow your network and improve your relationships.

If you want to be a success, you need to use what you have to offer solutions to people’s needs.

Find a purpose that ties in with what you are passionate about and start growing your skills and abilities in that area. Then use it to solve a problem in your circle of influence.


Whatever challenges you face, learn to first look inside you for a solution or at least a workable plan before involving others.


You have so much in you that can change your world for the better, BUT it only becomes useful when you actually take your uniqueness and do something positive with it.

So, grow yourself. Be you. Do you and own it.

Before you leave….

Thank you for reading this post!

Do you feel like you are always out of time daily and want to make a change? Take the TIME CHALLENGE….Use this FREE 10-point checklist to unmake time from things that don’t add value to you and create more time for things you love!

If you have been inspired by this post, please leave a comment and share on social media too!

If it is something important to you, you will get rid of excuses.

There are things you need to stop staying to make progress in life.

The future doesn’t belong to the comfort seekers, but to the risk takers.

Comfort seekers look for excuses to avoid the next or necessary step they need to succeed in life because of fear of mostly, the unknown.

Well, the only way to find out what is on the other side of the river is to cross it!

Risk takers are not callous as many people presume. At least the ones that apply wisdom to their decisions. Smart risk takers are next level thinkers. They don’t have time to dwell on the past. They definitely know to stop saying:

1. I can’t. Because this is just an excuse not to learn something new most times

2. I won’t. Because the truth is you are letting fear and doubt guide your decisions

3. I might. Because you want to trick others into believing that you are considering an option but you already know you are not going to lift a finger!

4. Maybe later or tomorrow. Because this is the most common replacement phrase for procrastination.

Your vocabulary should have a lot of ‘I can and I will’…………..

Give up excuses. Get informed and learn about current trends. Learn from those who have gone where you want to go.

Get inspired and motivated. You only have one chance at living your current life so make the most of it. Live fully and truly.

Before you leave….

Do you feel like you are always out of time daily and want to make a change? Take the TIME CHALLENGE….Use this FREE 10-point checklist to unmake time from things that don’t add value to you and create more time for things you love!

Thank you for reading this post! If you have been inspired, please leave a comment and share on social media too!


This is how I learnt to feel better. Every time.

Learn to actively live with gratitude.

I don’t indulge self pity. I see it as a door way to a field of emotions that would only lead to a worse mental state.

That said, every year, there is a time I actively have to push myself to stop any indulgence of a pity party.

The process unfolds pretty much the same way every time.

The seasons change and the days get shorter. It’s a struggle to get up and the cold feels like the first time.

Exercising becomes a battle. If you work, you have to deal with the holiday shopping and presents for your loved ones and colleagues.

Soon, the irritation with people and things begin. You avoid your self reflection sessions because you don’t want a reminder of what you haven’t accomplished yet as the year draws to an end.

Then, the only place of seeming comfort lies under the those thick covers. The self pity party has begun.

Years ago, being around supportive family and friends would help me get up and out of this internal wallowing just in time to enjoy the rest of the holidays.

But, with more personal growth year after year, I learnt that people might not always be there and I really should learn to do life alone when I need to.

How did I learn to beat the process? I changed my perspective. I developed an attitude of gratitude.

I read a story where a man kept complaining of how he needed a new pair of shoes and couldn’t afford any. Everyone that would give him an ear heard his moan over and over again.

One day he met a disabled man whose story changed his perspective forever. The man simply told him he wished he had legs to even wear a pair of shoes.

Gratitude is a perspective that can change your life.

This is the perspective I learnt to incorporate into my life especially through challenging seasons.

So, when those cold and dark mornings come, I tell myself that I woke up alive and healthy and consciously choose to make the most of the day.

I change up my exercise routine to keep me motivated and remind myself of the benefits — especially being ready for the extra holiday food weight that might be gained!

I plan earlier every year for gifts so I keep my head when others are losing theirs over the holiday shopping.

I choose to be extra patient with others and even go the extra mile to tell those in my life how grateful I am to do life with them.

And most importantly, I choose to be kind to myself even if I haven’t accomplished all the goals I set for the year.

I actively keep up with my reflective sessions, having an attitude of gratitude and being conscious that I might not be where I want to be yet, but I know for sure I am not where I used to be!

This is how I have learnt to feel better. Every time.

Before you leave….

Do you feel like you are always out of time daily and want to make a change? Take the TIME CHALLENGE….Use this FREE 10-point checklist to unmake time from things that don’t add value to you and create more time for things you love!

Thank you for reading this post! If you have been inspired, please leave a comment and share on social media too!